This is a summary of the presentation that Carina gave in Japanese on July 24, 2012 at the annual meeting of the RCJ Shikoku stake

The most precious in the Kingdom

One of the most important things in life is for a child to feel a parent’s love. How can a child feel it? Or how can a parent show it?

I grew up in Japan (my first 5 years) in a close-knit family. We only had each other to rely on in a culture that differs in an absolute sense from our Western culture. So although there might have been a lot of strife, us being in each other’s space most of the time, it actually had a positive consequence: we had to learn to live with each other … despite personality differences, despite stress caused by a different culture and the misunderstandings that were caused by trying to figure out the Japanese language.

When we returned to South Africa we were again forced to rely on each other, because we were again in a missionary setup. We lived for 12 years in an Indian community – again a culture different from ours. We spent a lot of time with each other. Spending so much time together naturally lead to the start of the sharing of our hobbies, such as reading and running. My father diligently (sometimes/often to our exasperation), did family devotions with us. But it was not autocratically enforced. On the contrary,  we were always encouraged to discuss our opinions and ideas openly. Therefore, our devotionals had continuous changes to accommodate even rebellious teenagers.

Up to this day, I feel free to share anything with my parents – from sex to parental challenges to questions and doubts about my Christian life. We are not a model family. In our original family of 6, we have different beliefs about God, and sometimes different ideas about politics or parenting strategies. There are often arguments and even anger. But we all WANT  to be with each other. We strongly feel that our family provides us with a safe space to share and unload our burdens.

This is how I believe the Church of Christ should be too. The Bible, after all, uses family language. We are each other’s brothers and sisters. We simultaneously belong to our blood family, as well as our spiritual family. Shouldn’t the church function more or less on the same principles as a family does? The same values that we apply in our natural (blood) families should also be applied to our spiritual/church families. (Galations 5:22: Forgiveness, love, self-sacrifice, service, joy, etc.).

The church in Japan and South Africa is losing young people or rather its demography consists of an ageing membership. How can we show warm, unconditional love to children/young people as parents would to their children? Maybe, just as a mom and dad would do? Spending time with children and listening to children?

That, however, is not as easy as it sounds…It means sacrificing our comfort zone. Accommodating children definitely forces us out of our comfort zone. It means to create a children-friendly space for children. To include children in discussions and decision-making processes … to spend time with the children of the church doing fun things and sharing in their hobbies/passions, but also to teach and direct children actively and on their level of interest. And more than anything, it means not being frustrated, angered, or discouraged by children’s fickleness, noise levels, moods, or behavior.

The church in South Africa is not free from the exodus of young people or children from the church. However, some churches are trying actively, although often carefully and slowly, to create the space that children and young people need to be able to experience/feel the love of the church. These churches are growing. Because they view their focus on children and families as their calling to witness in their communities.

• My vision for the Church in Japan is that it increasingly becomes a space for parents to meet, sharing challenges and equipping each other with tools for parenting in a Christian paradigm.
• To learn about and encourage each other to regular family devotions as well as the opportunity to share openly about challenges for Christian parents in Japan.
• For the church to be instrumental in giving rest for the weary parent and child by encouraging fellowship.
• The church getting involved in education of children – again according to the values and principles that Jesus taught us.
• To be an open space for doubting young people to be able to share their questions about Christianity and general everyday living in Japan.

I have a strong passion for my own children and an intense longing to be a mother who raises them as solid, emotionally healthy adults … children who will be able to cope with these times of turmoil where uncertainties can become cancerous and fear for the future and the focus of the world on satisfying the ‘self’ stealing the joy of a simply life…

This longing can only be realised by the belief that God is the God that beckons little children to come to Him … to come freely to Him, because they are the most precious in His kingdom (Matthew 19:14).

Carina van der Watt